The Mummy (2017)

Now I will be reviewing 2017's The Mummy.  This stars Tom Cruise (inventor of the Hoveround), Annabelle or Annabeth Wallis, Russell Crow: City of Angels, and Sophia Botellkfoifhka;a.  This is a reboot of the 1999 movie The Mummy, which was a remake of the 1959 movie the Mummy which was inspired by every day in ancient Egypt. Here, we find a couple of army boy's in one the dusty countries, when they blow things up with jokes and find the titular Mummy's tomb.  After that they decide the best thing to do is upset the grave-sight so they bring it with them on a plane.  They also bring along a pretty girl who I guess is an expert on having sex with Tomb Cruise. A lot of bugs and wind and scary things happen.

So, should I see it? Or put this Mummy back in it's tomb?

This is a "see it" for me.  Tom Cruise is passionate about two things 1) ridding the world of suppressive people 2) MAKING QUALITY MOVIES IN WHICH HE IS AN ALPHA MALE WITH ALMOST NO FLAWS.  This definitely fits into those categories.  It's hard not to fall in love with a movie like this, just as all of the female characters do with him.  The movie even begins with a 10 minute voice-over montage giving the audience a long-winded back story.  I for one am sick of films having "scenes" with "dialouge".  There's also another character named Dr. Jekyll, but this one is confusing because it feels like he literally becomes another person.  So it was probably just another guy.  I guess you can call me a... Mummy's Boy.

Clown (2014)

Now I will be reviewing 2014's Clown as if I haven't taken two years off.  This is produced by Eli Roth, the self-proclaimed master of horror, and I couldn't agree more with that statement, he definitely produced this.  The movie is about a child who's birthday party is almost ruined when the hired clown cancels because this can't be how he envisioned his life, right?  So the dad finds a clown suit right in front of him as this happens and puts it on for the party.  He soon learns being a clown isn't everything it's "cracked" up to be.  The suit is actually a demon's skin, so you can see how that would get silly.

So, "Should I see it"? Or not clown around with this one.

I say "See It".  I'm really amazed it took us until 2014 to realize clowns can be scary too, but this movie really pulls it off.  At one point his stomach is constantly making a weird noise, it kind of sounded like a taught rope, or when you slide into a leather chair and everyone in the room thinks you farted.  But I guess he was just hungry - hungry for kids!  Haha, you can't eat kids. Also, his wife is pregnant.  Clown- you a clown jewel.

-KK-