Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome

Summer is in full swing, so now I will be reviewing a summer movie.  1985's "Mad Mel: Beyond Thunderdome" is the movie I'm talking about, starring Max Gibson.  This is the third installment of a terrific franchise that just put out a fourth one: "Mad Max: Even Further Away from Thunderdome". Here, Max has to fight in Thunderdome after walking around in the dirt for a while.  But then he gets banished after winning, but not really "winning".  Then he is brought in by a young boy, or girl, I'm not really sure.  But I am sure I was attracted to it.   Then he becomes the leader of a bunch of kids and the family-fun begins.

So, Should I See It? Or, go so far past thunderdome... I don't see it.

I say "see it", it was a nice way to conclude the series for 30 years.  It also stars Tina Turner, now I'm a fan of hers, just not her music, so I really liked the parts she was in.  This movie has top-notch action you'd expect from acclaimed director, George "The Cat" Miller.  Though he didn't direct the entire movie, just the action scenes.  If you haven't seen this summer blockbuster yet, then, as Tina Turner's hit says, "Get Up On It!".  Mad Max... you make me Happy Movie-goer.

-KK-

Now I will be reviewing 2014's “Dumb and Dumber To".  This is a sequel to 2003's “Dumb and Dumber: When Harry Met Lloyd". This one teams Jim Carrey and Jeff Bridges in the title roles.  The duo must set out on a cross country journey to the middle of America in order to find one of their children to get organs and have sex with.  Depending on which character you are, that is.  Have sex with the kid, not the organs, sicko.

So, Should I See It? Or give it Dumb and Dumber To swift kicks in the bum on the way out of the door?

This one is going in the “See It" category.  Even though Jim Carrey and Jack Daniels don't quite have the same grasp on the characters as the last two guys, they certainly bring enough smirks to your face.  It was really nice of directing duo Matt and Chris Farley to not fill the movie with a lot of gut-busting laughs, this would have been painful after a while. So gently smirking once in a while is much easier on the viewer's face.  If you like gross-out humor (and the occasional nodding off) then you are in for a real treat.  Spoiler alert: the thing in the movie is actually cupcakes!   Dumb and Dumber To: two much hilarity.

-KK-

Superb bowl

Now I will be reviewing the 2015 super bowl.  Before I do, I must apologize for not posting a review in a while. I have two reasons: one, I forgot I was doing this one day, and two, I come up with the right words in the shower.  So this year's big game was between the defending champions the Seattle Seahawks, and the perennial powerhouse patriots (a.k.a. the triple P).  This game decides the world champion for a game only played in America. This is because the rest of the world thinks it's called soccer. All this time, Americans have secretly been getting really good at it, just waiting to pounce.

So, Should I See It? Or give this game the old kick with a foot? Ball

This was a very exciting game, so it is a must “See It".  Unlike last year where one team decided to play really poorly, both teams played at a high level.  With his team down by ten points in the fourth, Tom Brady took his Brady Bunch Boys (a.k.a. the triple B) down the field to score twice against the best team ever. But it wasn't over! Now seat ladle had the ball and marched down the field too! They were one step away from winning and had the best guy who picks up steps on their team. His nickname is breastmode.  Instead, the quarter pounder threw the ball. But here's the thing, an unknown player named Buttler, came in and caught the ball for the other team! No one ever saw him before and that's why he was able to sneak in.  Breastmode and the rest of the boys will really have to wonder for ever now.  Super bowel- you can play for me any day.

KK

State of the Union

Now for a change, I will review t.v..  After flipping through the channels I came across, Barack Obama's State of the Union. It's a show with a lot of dialogue.  It's starts with people talking about the upcoming episode, predicting what the plots twists will be.  Then Barracks comes out to a standing ovation where he reads a fable he's written to the audience who's all sitting Indian-style on the carpet. 

So, Should I See It, or stay away from this union?

Even though there wasn't a lot of action in the story, I will go with, “See It".  The State of the Onion story itself was pretty good but the best part was the crowd.  There were two guys sitting behind Barracks who were having a contest to see who could clap the most.  The guy on the right had white hair and white skin, he played for the white team.  The guy on the left was dipped in orange paint, he played for the orange team.  It really wasn't a close contest though, the white team won handily. The orange team had a frown all the time because he realized how bad he was losing.  After the fable was over they had a recap show like you would see after The Walking Dead. They took calls from the audience and one women got to Skype in and talk for a while telling everyone how she would have ended the story.  State of the Union- I can't what until next week's episode.

-KK-

Inherent Vice

Now I will be reviewing 2014's Inherent Vice.  It's the latest from writer/director Paul Thomas Anderson, who's previous works include Booger Knights and Steel Magnolias.  This one stars Wakeem Phoenix as Doc. He's not really a doctor, that's just his nickname.  Though he might be.  An old flame, who's young, comes back into his life to tell him about an intricate kidnapping plan on her old paramour.  Doc is a Private Eyeball and decides to go investigate this because he may still have feelings for each other when they have sex later.  A lot of characters come and go and things happen at a real pace of a movie. 

So, Should I See It, or investigate whether you should, or shouldn't see it.

After much deliberation I say, "See It".  I really like some of Anderson's previous works and really wanted to like this one.  As an audience member I zoned out a couple times which you really can't do because every line of silly dialogue is necessary.  People make a lot of funny faces in the movie too.  So if you do space out, don't worry, someone will come into frame soon enough and be like, "What's going on?!".  Haha, it's great.  The whole thing takes place in the mythic 1970's, a time when if you wanted a mobile phone you had to be a time traveler.  Some people had facial hair.  They were usually the ones making the faces.  Inherent Vice, more Inherent Nice Nice Baby.

The Equalizer

Now I will be reviewing 2014's "The Equalizer starring Denzel Washington (editor's note: I was once asked to come up with a porno name on the spot, I came up with 'Dongzel Fucksaton').  The movie centers around Denzel as Bob, a man.  Currently he's living a rather boring life working at a home improvement store.  But soon learn he cannot sleep at night so he goes to an all night diner.  He befriends a hooker and realizes he should be fighting people more often.

So, Should I See It, or shoot this one in the head with a gun?

I'm going to have to say "See It".  Bob is really creative with the ways in which he goes about his business.  At one point he boils honey to disinfect a wound he sustained.  It's a natural antisemitic, so this scene really illustrates is craftiness.  Bob has quite the past, but we never learn it exactly.  Probably saving it for the sequel.  This piece is a part of the "Alvin and the Chipmunks Cinematic Universe" so they are calling the next one "The Sqealalizer".  I also enjoyed how Bob never met a foe that was his equal, meaning every fight he won, and won handily.  This allows the audience to rest their emotions and make relaxed faces.  The Equalizer = a great time!

-KK-

Robocop

Now I will be reviewing 1987's classic "Robocop".  Affectionately  known by the Chinese knock-off toy market as, "Robertcop", the story centers around a slain Detroit cop. After a successful run on Family Ties, Alex P. Murphy has just been transferred to old Detroit because the police keep dying on the job.  Little does anyone know, but Murphy has a very special brain.  After he is shot in head, body, arms, legs, neck, coccyx, chest, thigh, hand, knees, other hand, deltoids, elbows, abdomen, shoulder blades, Xiphoid Process, wee wee, and scrapes his knees, he is brought back to life through the miracle of 1980's technology.  His past slowly begins to come back to him and has to scream a lot to deal with.

So, Should I See It, or roGOcop as far as I can?

This film holds a very special place in my heart, so it's a "See It".  I saw this incredibly violent film at a very young age and it traumatized me a little bit. To this day I have weird dreams with Robocop in them and they're very terrifying.  One time I was Robocop learning how to use my new-found abilities.  So the dream consisted of dying, painful surgeries, and sitting in a classroom.  Just when I started doing cool things I woke up.  But people were cheering for me so that's good.  Robocop balances political sad tire with a social commentary on economic stature.  All while shit gets fucked up.  Also everything in movie costs a dollar I guess.  There's also a part where a guy starts melting because he was exposed to toxic waste.  It's pretty gross and I would not recommend a 7 year old watching it.  It will lead to years of bad dreams.  But if you're not 7 watch this all the time.  Robocop, dead or alive, I'm coming with you.

-KK-

Night of The Demons 2

Now I will be reviewing 1994's "Night of the Demons 2".  This takes place after Night of the Demons 1, but before the, as of now unmade, Night of the Demons 3-5.  It is line produced by Bill Berry and stars Christine Taylor right off her "Hey Dude" fame.  The story centers around a group of kids living at a church boarding school of some kind.  There are some nerdy teens who are trying to tell everyone about demons and such, but as in real life, the audience only pays attention to the attractive people.  Eventually some lipstick turns into a snake thing, and that goes around possessing people.  A nun tries to fight it with a ruler even.  When she leaves the kids put on some Rock 'n Roll music which doesn't help things at all.

So, Should I See It, or perform the last rights on this movie?

I had a fun time so I'm putting it in the "See It" category.  Once we finally get to stop looking at the ugly people and can focus on the good-looking ones, the viewer instantly becomes immersed.  At one point they realize holy water can kill the demons, so they fill up water-guns and go to town.  I really enjoyed this part of the story because when I was a kid I'd get into water-gun fights all the time.  My set-up was a double-barreled super soaker as my primary weapon, with two hand water-guns on a belt with extra clips in an emergency.  I also had a giant canon strapped to my back for when shit got real.  While the water-gun fights weren't completely accurate, you have so much fun remembering how great I was a water-gun fights you stop paying attention to the movie.  It did deliver on it's promise to have demons and take place at night, but Night of the Water-guns had that extra kick that makes it one of the best ever.  They also used water balloons but I always thought those were cheap.  Night of the Demons- any night of the week, twice on Sunday.

-KK-